Happy birthday? Happy anniversary? Happy boss’s Day? Happy New Year? Yes, these are all important milestones for us, and each one is a great opportunity to reload or, at least feel old. But sometimes, it does become a kind of slog because there are so many so-called “Happy ________ Day” celebrations. Since the list is already long, I decided, what’s a few more? To give us something to celebrate at work, here’s a few “Happy _______ Days” especially for optometrists: Happy…

• Correct seg height Day
• Teen boy can insert his own contact lens in one try Day
• The new phone system worked immediately Day
• The doctor remembered to zip his fly Day
• No staffer called in sick on a beautiful, sunny Friday Day
• The patient who saw sudden onset flashes came in before Friday at 4pm Day
• No, I won’t call you in something for your red eye on Saturday Day
• No breakage at the lab Day
• The day’s last patient showed up early Day
• The patient says “I still want it” when insurance doesn’t cover it Day
• The post LASIK patient adores his new progressives Day
• I lost one of my GP contact lenses and I’m leaving for Italy this evening Day
• Two guys named Jeff came in at the same time and we totally mixed up their charts Day
• My sister gives me free contacts from the supermarket she works at Day
• I’m an airline pilot, and don’t tell my boss but I can’t see crap out of my left eye Day
• You just found out all of your employees meet at Happy Hour after work every day Day
• I would like to schedule all six members of my family on the same morning, but they may not all be able to be there Day
• You’ve remade my glasses three times, and I still can’t see and I totally blame myself Day
• I sleep in my lenses because my cousin does and has never had a problem Day
• I think wearing glasses will make my kid’s eyes worse Day
• Your office is a 10-minute drive, which not convenient, so I’m switching to a big box store that’s 20 minutes away Day
• My legislators cannot pronounce “glaucoma” Day
• I want LASIK so I can wear sunglasses Day
• Doctor, do you think I should buy my contacts from you or on the internet Day
• I could never wear my glasses and I’m telling you that eight months later at the gym Day
• The IRS called, so I gave them your home phone number Day
• I accidently stuck a spoon in my eye so can you write me a prescription for fentanyl Day
• The state board can’t find your CE hour submission Day
• Another forgotten password Day
• An OSHA agent is here, and he wants you to tell him the boiling point of G-15 dye Day
• A 90-year-old patient wants you to call her to discuss her $8.00 copay Day

Enjoy your special days, doctors. If you can survive just one day at a time, you’ll make it all the way to “Happy I’m outta here Day.”