Dont lie to me in my own office! Ever make this statement to a patient in your examination room? I have many times per month. (At least thats what it seems like.)

I hate to tell this to you young, impressionable optometrists out there, but you will be lied toand thats the truth!

For example, the patient says, My eyes are fine. The truth? Hes 20/40 and he borrows his wifes glasses to read a menu.

Here are some of the other daily, weekly, monthly and yearly lies you hear.


Daily Lies

These glasses have never been any good. But, the patient has worn them every day, with no problem, for four years.

I do sleep in my contacts once in awhile. Like, every night for three months.

I cant afford to come in every year. Cant afford that and buying a case of soda pop every day.

My insurance made me change eye doctors. You bought it in the first place.


Weekly Lies

My old eye doctor never could get my contacts right. And, the patient bought them for four years without an Rx from a drive-through contact lens place, after the doctor turned her over to a collection agency for never paying for the exam in the first place.

They cancelled my insurance. Premiums? What premiums?

New glasses cost too much. But did you see my new snakeskin cowboy boots?

My brother told me he doesnt think I have glaucoma. My brother, the chimney sweep.

My husband had that surgery and now his eyes are perfect. My husband puts on our sons glasses when he goes huntin.


Monthly Lies

If you would give me a couple trial lenses to hold me over until my exam next month Then you must be a freakin idiot.

My sister swears by you! My sister just swears a lot.

My insurance always pays the whole bill. Yep.

My last doctor never charged me for my contacts. I have been wearing the trial lenses he gave me for the past two years.


Yearly Lies

Thank you so much for telling Dad he cant drive anymore since his eyes went bad. Too bad my family wont be able to come see you anymore now that Dad hates your guts.

Tell the doctor that my family just loves him! Unfortunately, we love our new vision plan more.

I take my eye drops every night. And this is the nearly empty sample bottle you gave me last year.

I am quitting smoking right after the holidays. You know the holiday when Halleys comet hits the moon.

This year, I am getting into shape! The shape of a hot air balloon.


OK, that last one is the doctor talking. The point is that you will have the occasional lie flying around in your office. Try not to take them personally. When a patient lies to you, he or she is probably just confused. It is very easy for the layperson to confuse the importance of a lifetime of good vision with the importance of a lifetime of upsizing a double cheeseburger meal. After all, they cost the same. People dont always know their eye is falling apartbut they are pretty sure when theyre hungry, right?

Vol. No: 145:01Issue: 1/15/2008