Theres a popular song I hear all the time on the radio. Its about somebody having a bad day. I only hear this song on stations that are kinda upbeat and pop-like in their formats. I think that is because, when you listen to hard rock or metal stations, EVERYBODY is having a bad day. 

That reminds me, of course, of practicing optometry. 

For instance, a guy (an older guy, not that it matters) came in last week. This country is going to the dogs, he grumbled. Look around, Dr. Vickers. The kids look all weird, everybodys taking drugs, and we have that war going on out there!

I said, Hmmm. Sounds like 1968.

He didnt entirely grasp my meaning, I think. The point is this, my fine feathered friends: Nobody is in charge of whether you have a bad day but you. You. You. You. You. Admit it! You.

Why should you accept this premise? Because if this is true, then you can state with authority that your GOOD day is also your own fault. Heck, before you know it, you will be a darn positive thinker. Imagine what your staff will think of that!

The doctors on anti-depressants again.

Who cares what they think? My theory is that, if they see you smile, they will smile. Or at least resign. Either option suits me.

I used to try to save the souls of my employees. But, thats not possible. Only the employee can save the employee.

Instead, I spend my day trying to (you got it) save MY soul. I dont want to have a bad day. I choose to have a good day. I smile. I laugh. And, I threaten the life of ANYONE who tries to make my day bad.

Be Like a Maitre D

Here are two simple ways NOT to have a bad day:

Next time you walk in and see an employee with a crabby look, walk up to her, smile as though you are Tom Cruises mirror, and tell her, with a positive lilt to your voice, to WIPE THAT FROWN OFF YOUR FACE OR DIE! When she responds, your answer should be a very joyous Thanks! or a very joyous Either leave that crap at home or take it home right now, but remove it from my office!

Note: I have found that you can say anything you want to an employee as long as you smile like Tom Cruises mirror. However, you really must get that right first if you want to follow my advice here, or you may have a skeleton crew in about five minutes.

Get all gussied up. For you younger doctors, allow me to translate: Getting gussied up means to dress up. Fellows, are you having bad days? Wear a tie and a seriously ironed white shirt. You wear a tie every day anyway? Then, wear a suit. You wear a suit anyway? Then, wear a tux. You wear a tux anyway? Then, you are a maitre d, so why are you reading an optometry mag? Just use your imagination and get all gussied up! That and a smile says this is a good day.

Note: I dont mean to ignore the women doctors who read this column, but I have a problem telling women what to wear. The last time I tried to make suggestions about what a woman should wear, I was nearly killed by one of those horrific glances that all women know how to fire at a man when he is being an idiot. Do not deny it. You women have that power, and it may one day save the universe if properly aimed.

Therefore, my advice to my female colleagues is ... well you look marvelous!

Vol. No: 143:06Issue: 6/15/2006